Robin_485_485.jpg

Robin McIntosh

When I'm not writing / collecting, find me at: 

www.workithealth.com
www.sirensf.com

I yesterday only began to love, to understand. 5/24/09

I yesterday only began to love, to understand. 5/24/09

I yesterday only began to love, to understand. 5/24/09

Second morning in Breckenridge.

I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I listen to Dad concoct his tea in the kitchen. Red rose with half a teaspoon of milk. I can direct him from counter to counter. Before he sneezes I whisper "bless you."

Two sisters still sleep: Jackie sprawled like a star fish, blond hair splayed. Cassie buried beneath covers, snoring and dreaming of red eyed seagulls.

I am awake, always awake, I rise early.

Where is my mother? Ahh, the missing figure, "you’re so dramatic" she would mutter, disapproving. She could be running in place or painting a landscape or crouched beneath a closet shelf sipping chardonnay.

My family. My makeup, my insides.

If I were a fourth sister and describing myself I would write:

And the oldest is awake, always awake, writing in her room. I can hear her soft sighing through the wall. The occasional thump of pen against paper. She will appear in a minute and say "good morning, lovely girl, good morning - I just woke up." But I know she has been up for hours.

And then I kiss my youngest sister's cheeks and say, "you don't exist, which is just as well."

To think I almost missed it all.

*Title quote from Franz Wright's Admission

Image from a feminist Victorian Tarot deck I'm currently designing (2018)

Just wait, to see what's going to happen.

Just wait, to see what's going to happen.

Buckminster Fuller, the poet

Buckminster Fuller, the poet